NORTH COUNTRY FAIR

Nothing to do with Charlize Theron or Bob Dylan.

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Location: Norwich, United Kingdom

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Mad Dogs and Englishmen

I realised when I saw this photo that the Sun makes us all go a little cuckoo in this country. Personally, I wouldn't blame anyone for clutching their children a little closer at that smile; "Now listen, Johnny, when Mummy and Daddy said not to look strange people in the eye, that is who we meant" etc etc. As for James, he looks like a disillusioned football hooligan who has just realised the only plastic garden chair he has to throw is the one he's sitting on; "And my Adnams is going to get spilt, too."

Today, I saw no Mad-Dogs wandering about in the heat (unless you count that frisky Doberman with the oversized testes) but I saw plenty of Englishmen, heading off the afternoon in a wave of emaciated, gangrenously inked and milky-white stomachs, leaning out of lorries and beeping at me because my sallow, stick-like calves were no longer swathed in wool, but in a pair of knee-length shorts. Quel miracle!

By 4pm, people were starting to redden and the air filled with tear-inducing smoke because of a city-wide epidemic of shiny new barbeque metal and lighter fluid. I remembered that my Dad used to light ours by shoving a wand of old newspaper into the toaster and then running his rudimentary splint out into the garden as it went up like a polyester sofa in his charred hands.

Personally, I think Mad-Dogs and Englishmen are one in the same when it comes to the heat, but then I also thought it was possible to use a hole-punch to er, punch holes in my hair. Oh, and before you ask, the standards of our beloved universities are categorically not slipping.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Monkey said...

It always amuses me how the british complain about not having sun and then complain that its too hot after sittng out in it for 6 hours. I guess well never learn. Now im going to have no blogs to read as Jo & Roo have discovered this fair shore again and everyone else is busy revising. GL with your exams George.

2:50 PM  
Anonymous Jo said...

Monkey and George. Sittin' in a tree. Mwa ha ha...

5:41 PM  
Blogger Georgina said...

Oh, I did miss you, Jo.

5:45 PM  

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